Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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