Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
