She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
