So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
