My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
