PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
