If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
