mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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