Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
