In the future we'll all be gay
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
handjob tips. give me some.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
