i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
