fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
