i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
nutella sex= disaster
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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