so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
