with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
