**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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