is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
