My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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