Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
