why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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