Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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