You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
