Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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