I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
