It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
