I cannot find my penis.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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