It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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