Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
