Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
