It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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