I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
