Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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