Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
