You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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