i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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