Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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