You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
