Joe is yelling at the trees again.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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