Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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