He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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