I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
