Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
