I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
