No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
