I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
