I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
