whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
