I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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