I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
