I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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