why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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