addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
