i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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